Do you have an ADVOCATE?

My husband has had some emergent medical issues arise over the past few years. He is generally okay – things are good and we are absolutely lucky to have such a kickass team at the Marcus Neuroscience Institute in Boca Raton, Florida. Last week, he went to the closest emergency room – not our established medical center – as he had some symptoms mimicking the stroke he had over two years ago. Luckily, it seems all is well and it was just a perfect storm of exhaustion and dehydration.

That being said, the emergency room he went to was, as most would have, the closest to him at the onset of symptoms. What a disaster. This hospital has a great reputation, an A rating and seemed like a decent enough place to be.

When I arrived, he was already in the holding bay. The nurse was lovely and the room was clean. The doctor was nowhere to be found. There were maybe three other patients in this ER at 4pm on a Monday. To be clear, my husband has a rather rare medical history – his carotid artery dissected resulting in a stroke – odds are two in every 100,000. When you admit a 37 year old healthy, clearly fit patient and see he has history of stroke, you may ask a few more questions. This doctor didn’t.

I reiterated medical history – history he hadn’t asked about. I pushed for answers. I may have annoyed them. I may have seemed overbearing and in your face. And that was okay.

While this may seem like a scathing review of a mediocre Florida hospital, it’s not. It’s a reminder. A reminder to ask questions. To push. To ensure you have an extra ear and a solid advocate anytime you are undergoing any medical procedure, planned or emergent.

Do you have a “person” in case of emergency? That person may not be your spouse or parent. For me, it’s my best friend who happens to be a trauma nurse (and ballsy Italian girl) who knows exactly what to do when it hits the fan.

Relating to cosmetic surgery or elective procedures, this person is someone you bring along to your consultations and then your pre-op appointments. Someone who knows your goals and is willing to speak up, pleasantly. The person who will bring you home after your procedure and help you follow the post-op protocol. The person who will not be afraid to call the nurse and ask if the swelling is normal or ask how soon you can take your next pain pill. Your advocate.

Advocates don’t need to be pushy and rude. They need to be helpful and kind. That whole “more bees with honey” thing is a cliche because it’s true. Being nice helps. There is a certain finesse to being nice and getting it done.

We all need an advocate. Find one. And be one. And give your advocate $20 to bring your medical crew Starbucks. Everybody loves Starbucks.