Mommy Blogs are SO BORING.
To be brutally honest, my biggest fear of becoming a mom wasn’t labor or raising a decent kid. It was losing what makes me “me”. That doesn’t only mean happy hours and expensive makeup and kicking people for fun. More so the fear that I would become the person who only talks about diaper changes and spit up and puréed peas. We all know those people. They scare me. They have scared me enough to wait 33 years to have a kid. Okay, I get it. A part of you changes forever. But when your entire identity becomes “mom” you lose so much of what makes you “you”.
I care 0% about how anyone else parents their kids. Truly. Yet everyone seems to remind you in the final weeks (possibly days) of pregnancy of how tired you’ll be and how your life will change forever and offer completely unsolicited advice – advice that is scarier than the thought of being in actual labor. So when the subject turns to what to pack in your hospital bag, it’s the basics. Duh. Comfy pants, a robe, baby clothes. And I’m throwing in my makeup. While almost everyone has said “Oh – you won’t care about that”, I beg to differ. I’m already in a hospital, in pain and figuring out what to do with a squishy, screaming creature (that I’m sure I’ll love very much – calm down, moms).
Maybe you’ll care too. Maybe you won’t. If I can muster up the energy to keep a little of what makes me “me” while I’m flat on my back with a baby then I’ll feel a little better about what’s about to unfold.
Here are a few things I’ve added to my hospital bag that may make you feel a bit better too:
Makeup Wipes – who knows when you’ll go into labor. No one wants funky, running mascara.
Moisturizer – pregnancy robs your skin of moisture. And so does hospital air.
Eye Cream – dry eyes, meds, tears. Bring the good stuff.
Lip Exfoliant – apparently chapstick is a must. I’d rather use a quick sugar lip scrub.
Rich Hand/Foot Cream – baby skin is soft so you want your hands to be soft. Also – no one likes seeing their dry feet in stirrups.
Brow Gel – because I’m a blonde that dyes her hair black and I look scared without it. I’m already scared enough.
Mascara – look a little bright eyed with no sleep.
Concealer – again, no sleep.
Blush – look alive! There are cameras…
Water – because I can immediately tell if I’m dehydrated by my skin.
Champagne! Because NINE.MONTHS.WITHOUT.IT.IS.
This all takes about five minutes. Five minutes is all I need to maintain some semblance of ME.
Some may care. Some may not. I do. Again, can’t you be both, YOU + MOM? Can’t I drag my kid to Jiu Jitsu and still read him baby books in ridiculous voices? I say yes. Will I be tired? Yes. And that’s okay. I’m already tired…